Jokes - Life support drama

Doris has been on a life support machine for nearly a year now and Bob, her husband, has visited every day, holding her hand and talking to her but to no avail.

One particular day, the consultant in charge of her care came to speak to Bob. He placed his hand gently on Bob's shoulder and asked Bob to consider switching off the machine.

"We've tried every form of mental and physical stimuli we can think of," the doc says, "even electric shocks, but nothing's getting through. I can only conclude that she's brain dead. Perhaps it would be kindest to let her go with some dignity and turn the machines off."

"Well if you think there's no chance doctor," says Bob, the tears welling up in his eyes. "Could I just have a few moments with her to say goodbye?"

"Of course," says the doc, "take all the time you need." With that, Bob leans over and kisses Doris on the cheek.

Suddenly, there is a flicker on the monitor and a BEEP from the machine. "What did you do?" asks the doc urgently. "I just gave her a kiss on the cheek," replies Bob

"My God!" exclaimed the doc. "That's the most response we've had in nearly a year of tests and therapy. Do it again!"

Bob once again leans over and plants a full, wet smacker on Doris's lips. The monitor springs to life and there is a BEEP-BIBBITY-BEEP from the machine.

"Good Lord! It seems obvious to me that the way to bring Doris back is to stimulate her sexually" says the doctor. "Is there anything that she particulary liked in the bedroom?"

Bob blushes slightly and says "Well, it's a bit embarrassing."

"Good grief, this is no time for shyness - this is a matter of life and death, come on, man, what did Doris like in bed?"

"Well," says Bob uncomfortably, "she particularly liked oral sex."

"There's our answer," exclaims the doc. "Tell you what, I'll leave you two alone for ten minutes, you do what you have to do, and then I'll come back and see how you're getting on."

Bob agrees to this and the doctor leaves the room, confident that a breakthrough is imminent.

After ten minutes or so, the doctor returns. He opens the door to hear a loud BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP and a flatline on the monitor.

"Good God, man, what the hell happened?" he cries.

"I'm not sure" says Bob sheepishly, "but I think she choked!"