Jokes - Pete and Dave

 
Pete walks into a bar and sees Dave sitting at the end of the bar counter with a great big smile on his face. Pete says "Dave what are you so happy for?"

"Well Pete, I gotta tell ya... Yesterday I was out waxin' my boat, just waxin' my boat, and a redhead came up to me... tits out to here. She says "Can I have a ride in your boat?" "I said 'Sure you can have a ride in my boat.' So I took her way out, Pete. I turned off the key and I said 'Its either screw or swim!'

She couldn't swim!!."
The next day Pete walks into the bar and sees Dave sitting at the end of the counter with a bigger smile on his face. Pete says "What are you so happy about today Dave?"

"Well Pete... I gotta tell ya... Yesterday I was out waxin' my boat, just waxin' my boat and a BEAUTIFUL blond came up to me... tits out to here. She said 'Can I have a ride in your boat?' "Sure you can have a ride in my boat." So I took her way out. Way out much further than the last one. I turned off the key and I said 'Its either screw or swim!'

She couldn't swim!!
A couple of days pass and Pete walks into a bar and sees Dave crying over a beer. Pete says "Dave, why are you so sad?"

"Well Pete, I gotta tell ya.... Yesterday I was out waxin' my boat, just waxin' my boat, and the most desirable brunette came up to me... tits WAY out to here. She says "Can I have a ride in your boat?"

"Sure you can have a ride in my boat." So I took her, WAY out... much further than the last two. I turned off the key, and looked at her tits and said 'Its either screw or swim!!'. Then, she pulled down her pants.... she had a dick, Pete !!! She had a great BIG dick!!! .....
....Pete, ..... I CAN'T SWIM!!!"