There's this little guy sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink . He stays like that for half-hour.
Then, this big trouble making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down.
The poor man starts crying.
The truck driver says: " Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't see a man crying."
"No, it's not that. Today is the worst day of my life.
First, I overslept and was late to an important meeting. My boss, outrageous, fired me. When I left the building to my car,
! I found out it was stolen.
The police, they said they couldn't do anything.
I got a cab to return home, and after I paid the cab driver and the cab had gone, I found that I left my wallet in the cab.
I got home only to find my wife having sex with the gardener.
I left home and came to this bar. When I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison..."
This guy was walking down the street and this hooker says, "Say, wanna have a good time?" "Sure," he says and they were off to the nearest motel.
She takes off her clothes and he keeps staring at her. She says, "Is this the first pussy you seen since you crawled out of one?" The guy says,
"Nope, just the first one I've seen big enough to crawl back into."