Jokes - DIY

A Man is sitting in the living room watching his favourite football team compete for the first time in the Champions league.

His wife comes into the room and says " Honey, can you fix the landing light? It has been flickering for ages."

"Wow!" shouts the man. "Do I look as though I have 'Scottish Power' tattooed on my forehead? I don't think so!"

A little later she comes back and says "Can you fix the front step? It's been cracked for ages."

It is nearly half time and the man is engrossed. "Wow! " he responds "Do I look as if I have 'B&Q' stamped on my forehead? I don't think so!"

Half-way through the second half, the wife comes back into the room and says "The door of the fridge is a bit wobbly, can you fix it?"

"Wow!", shouts the man again. "Do I look as though I have 'Philips' written on my head? I don't think so! I am off down the pub!"

He spends all night there until closing time and goes home.

When he gets there, he finds the step fixed, the light does not flicker anymore and the fridge door does not wobble when he goes to get a beer.

He wakes his wife, "Hey" he says. "The step is fixed, the light is fixed and the fridge door does not wobble anymore. How did you do all that?"

"Well" says his wife, "After you left, I sat on the doorstep and cried. A nice young man passed by and stopped to see what the matter was. He said he would fix everything for me if I either baked a cake for him or had sex with him."

"So what sort of cake did you bake for him? Asked the husband.

"Wow!" said the wife, "Do I look like I have 'Kipling' tattooed on my forehead?"